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Chase (Anxiety Personified)


24 January 2021


Chase (Anxiety Personified)


Egad. Dad called: the _____ Rd house just sold in one day – for $___k over asking. They close Feb 24 – one month – and will move out ASAP. They are purging closets. Three generations of things. Tools. Life. Identity. All – poof.


32 years of memories, and I will not get to say, “Goodbye.”


Here comes now a quiet, creeping dread. A whisper, a tremor, a flash back to the crumbling time in Madrid. It slinks in and begins, crouching at my feet.


Anxiety’s face looks up into mine and jeers with dripping teeth, head bobbing; its eyes see deep into my soul, and its claw-like fingers pull at the threads of my reality. They fray. They spin and unravel under the weight of my world, my perception, my fleeting, meaningless time.


Fleeting, meaningless time.


The one thing. Its pace unchanging in spite of perception. It falls through. It goes, and I cannot prevent it.


The monster sees and laughs, its face now twisted - a hideous misshapen caricature of humanity; a distorted anthropomorphism, god, devil, both, neither. Its ecstasy bright like flames that dance and heckle, cracking the silence like whips. He climbs me. Slowly. Too fast. His weight crushes. My lungs cannot support. He sits on my essence, he wrings life.


I gasp for air. My mouth almost covered.


No closure.


No time.


No.

********************************************************************


I must go run. I must find life and hold it for a moment. It slips.

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4 Comments


cjparish
cjparish
Jun 06, 2021

I see what you did there. Also, great personification of anxiety <3

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Meg Vlaun
Meg Vlaun
Jun 06, 2021
Replying to

My god I love you.

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Loved this! I really appreciate how open you are about mental health. I'll never forget when I called you when I was going through my own tough time in Madrid and you pushed me to get the help I needed. That wouldn't have happened had you not been so forthcoming about your own struggles. Thank you!

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Meg Vlaun
Meg Vlaun
Jun 06, 2021
Replying to

It makes me happy to know that it helped you. Being in that space is so lonely...


Thank you for your kind words! Sending love. Miss your face!!

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